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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

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Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Blonde

As my academic semester comes to a close, I find I must curtail blogging activities for a bit whilst I grade final papers, calculate final grades, entertain out-of-town guests, and prepare for a grand party this coming Saturday in honor of graduating with my Masters in English: Composition (woohoo!).

But for your amusement (and mine, of course) I leave you all with one of my favorite blonde jokes and invite you to share one ( or two or three) of your own as well. I have a thing for blonde jokes, having once been, before my hair became pigmentally challenged, a blonde.

A Blonde Plays Craps

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table when an extremely attractive and voluptuous blonde woman walks up and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you two don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

And with that, she strips off every last stitch of clothing she has on, rolls the dice and yells, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice come to a stop she jumps up and down and up and down and up and down and squeals, "I WON, I WON, I WON!"

She hugs each of the dealers and then picks up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departs. The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?"

The other answers, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

13 Comments:

Blogger Jack K. said...

Congratulations and a great big WOOT on achieving the Masters.

As for the blond jokes, I don't have any, but you could go to How Now Blue Cow for other funnies.

May 23, 2006 11:21 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

BTW, I particularly liked the one about The Mystery of the Curtan Rods.

May 23, 2006 11:23 AM  
Blogger lettuce said...

LOL - loved this joke. Excellent!

And you've just got a Masters degree? Well, congratulations - really, well done, I hope you're proud of yourself. What subject?

I'll let you know how the industrial action goes. I'm feeling extremely uneasy about it, but think the Unions are right that now is the time to make some kind of stand, as much as is possible, given the extra money which is finally coming into Higher Education in the UK, but which is in danger of being diverted in all the wrong directions. Our students haven't yet been adversely affected - the crunch will come in a few weeks, and I'm just hoping so fervently that it will be settled by then.... cross your fingers for us.

May 23, 2006 12:17 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

what do you call a smart blonde?

a golden retriever.

what did the blonde name her pet zebra?

spot.

why are blonde jokes so short and lame?

so brunettes can remember them.

/howl

May 23, 2006 2:45 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

boyed, i didnt want to leave without wishing you a happy graduation party saturday. take care of yourself and enjoy your freedom.

(soft) /grrrrrrrrrr

May 24, 2006 10:17 AM  
Anonymous Croak said...

CONGRATULATIONS.
After all that work, all that time, all that effort and all that dedication you have come through. Well done.
I hope you fly through your party and enjoy your break and return to us refreshed and raring to go.
Cheers to Bird.
To your future.
I raise my glass.

May 24, 2006 9:49 PM  
Blogger The Flabbergasted Heathen said...

Gimme a B!

Gimme an I!

Gimme an R!

Gimme a D!

What's that spell?

Someone who just got their masters! You rock Birdeeo!

May 26, 2006 11:12 AM  
Blogger ardlair said...

Well done Bird person.

I shall think of you as I face Mrs Abercromby this evening.
Think of my need for words.
Masters words.

May 27, 2006 2:11 AM  
Blogger HanktheDog said...

A clunky wag of my yellow tail to you-congrats on your degree!

May 29, 2006 8:09 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark
somebody needs ta get "on task"
/grrrrrrrrr

June 01, 2006 5:06 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

hahahahaha!

i am now totally exhausted from a 7-day fete and must rest before getting "on task."

flap...flap...thunk.

June 02, 2006 1:10 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

did i growl? i meant to wag. ive gone fishin whats your excuse? i tried to break into your private journal to no avail. knew there was some juicy tidbits there but it wasnt meant for ruffians eyes and so it goes.

just know your posts are missed...boyed.

/wag

June 02, 2006 6:50 PM  
Blogger lettuce said...

Hope your pile of marking is diminishing. And that you're not.

I'm nearly through my marking (but into induction planning for September - could well do without it!)

Our industrial dispute isn't settled yet... starting to look nasty. Oh dear.

June 04, 2006 2:59 AM  

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