The Bird Babe
I call up my friend Jae from Alaska to tell her I returned to Nordstrom's today to pick up the jeans I purchased on our shopping spree (and had hemmed - Bird is vertically challenged, ok and has absolutely no time nor patience for hemming - besides - Nordstrom's does it for free) and leave her a long message, explaining how in picking up my jeans, I was compelled to purchase some shirts (on sale - for crying out loud but nonetheless Jae's fault that I purchased them) and that the clerk who helped us a few days ago greeted me by name and is absolutely adorable (she's in college, a liberal arts major, and working at Nordstrom's for the summer.)
I also let Jae know that last night I was at a very hot Giants game (ok, so the Giants crushed the Marlins who were playing very badly - but the Giants hit up and down the batting order - and kept hitting the ball to the sweet spot - between second and third - yet closer to second - and too far out for the shortstop to field and too close for the center and left fielders to come into play quickly enough - yeah - sweet as can be) and partying quite a bit with the young men in the row behind mine and my baseball buddy's seats. The young men were adorable too and though they were rowdy and loud, they never once swore. Amazing. I tell Jae all this on her message machine. She will be so annoyed at me for using up her tape. Haha!
Jae calls me back and tells me that clearly, my new, beautifully-fitting, lacy, sexy, 36 double-d bras have affected my attitude - gone to my head. She is so smug. I know she is taking the credit for my good time. What a brat!
And she also chastizes me.
She has read my most recent blog posts - most especially the backwards party journal.
She objects strenuously to the adjective, "middle-aged" which apparently I should not have used.
"Well then," I say, "what are you?"
"I'm a babe."
"Well - I'm a 36 double-d, so if you're a babe, I must be too."
"Damn straight, girl. Don't forget it!"
I am now Bird Babe. Wait, make that MASTER BIRD BABE.
SWOOSH!
I also let Jae know that last night I was at a very hot Giants game (ok, so the Giants crushed the Marlins who were playing very badly - but the Giants hit up and down the batting order - and kept hitting the ball to the sweet spot - between second and third - yet closer to second - and too far out for the shortstop to field and too close for the center and left fielders to come into play quickly enough - yeah - sweet as can be) and partying quite a bit with the young men in the row behind mine and my baseball buddy's seats. The young men were adorable too and though they were rowdy and loud, they never once swore. Amazing. I tell Jae all this on her message machine. She will be so annoyed at me for using up her tape. Haha!
Jae calls me back and tells me that clearly, my new, beautifully-fitting, lacy, sexy, 36 double-d bras have affected my attitude - gone to my head. She is so smug. I know she is taking the credit for my good time. What a brat!
And she also chastizes me.
She has read my most recent blog posts - most especially the backwards party journal.
She objects strenuously to the adjective, "middle-aged" which apparently I should not have used.
"Well then," I say, "what are you?"
"I'm a babe."
"Well - I'm a 36 double-d, so if you're a babe, I must be too."
"Damn straight, girl. Don't forget it!"
I am now Bird Babe. Wait, make that MASTER BIRD BABE.
SWOOSH!
posted by Bird | 9:02 PM
8 Comments:
Don't you just love it when a plan comes together, MASTER BIRD 36DD BABE?
It is all in the outlook. If only I could print in the accent of Billy Crystal's SNL character, "You Look Marvelous" Would it look something like this "You rook mah-vel-ous"?
When you think about it, not only a sexy new bird, but one the commands respect, even from drunken young men. I bet they were drunk on the sight of you.
You go girl!
/bark bark bark
couple of notes today:
middleaged is 40 if you live to eighty. how many make it to 100 -middle-aged at 50?
women in their 40's and 50's who are happy in life are very very sexy. and fun to party with cause they arent busy posturing and fussing over their apperance -they're past it. secure. know who they are. sexy. and not to mention much wiser so they have the edge.
freya said to buy jeans that have the "short" tag "met stretch". she's 5-2.she refuses to write she thinks it sucks off her painting strength and needs to be focused.
re: bogs post yesterday
never once did i think you don't love deeply the USA. i know you do. what you wrote at bogs was terrific. what croak said was an absolute again. i wonder if the perception of conservative is that it = my country right or wrong hand over heart blah blah like he said. it isnt. but i love us -the whole of us here and i have faith in us too. see, i think the blend of birds and hell pigs and woodpeckers and rotties is a strength.a beauty, a challenge yes but in a good way. we hash our stuff out. it isnt buried. progress is messy. too much order is death.
re: your note at SK9:
yes you can use "confettis of memory" to jumpstart a poem. so glad you "girls" (meant endearingly)like what i have written.
tell jae the way i imagined her as i read your long long long post was anything but middle -ageish thoughts. (howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl!)
/wag and grrrrr
k9, you are one smooth talking pup. I wish I had said it. So, bird, a great big ditto from me.
That's babeliscious!
--Disguised, aka Easy E.
Hubby rapper name: Swoopy J
5 year-old daughter rapper name: Slippery S.
I was SO hoping for more bra talk, complete with cup sizes... mmm, cup sizes... LOL
Middle-age(d) is jes' the begining of the best time o' all, chile.
Ya knows a thang or two and acquire a certain mysterious allure. Brains and Beauty is always most intriguin', Uncle
alawys says.
Hello feathery DD Bird, glad to see you join the DD Babe club!
I have been migraine medicated lately, just came by to say hello.
Double Ds, Bird?
My breath quickens
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