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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

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Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

A Poetic Ring of Fire: Our Dog Steps into the Ring with Dueling Bards!

The poetic battle of the century is shaping up over at the Mayden’s vessel, and our very own prince of the junkyard, king of the steamin’ hot browns, drooling-dueling dawg, K9, is schoolin’ up on his couplets and his rip-rappping sonnets in preparation to enter the ring and smite his enemies with his own hybrid of pungently sweet and savory hot verse.

I have no doubt our beloved rot will win the day – for he is a noble (if not stinkin’) beast, and familiar with the discourse conventions of a variety of genres. Romantic wannabe poets and cosmo-swiggers will blanche and pale, and quiver and quake - make no mistake! The dawg is, after all, a master wordsmith – and can fling both flowers and browns adeptly, adroitly and with all needed aplomb and flow – he is da man, da dawg, da beastly best!

The fated time is sunset on Monday. The opponents will post their verse on their own blogs and the Mayden will settle the matter and declare a victor. We trust such a sweet soul will see clearly to the heart of the matter.

Rumor has it gambling is involved. And I have vowed to serve mint juleps and shots of jack in honor of our southern dawg!



Blogger Mayden's Voyage said...

Being curious, followed the pup...what a dear friend he has in you :) Thank you.

Shots of Jack? Bless you! Though I suppose a mint julep is more what I should be seen with...

Thank you again for this post-
Glad I was following K9 and not in the lead...as if I could!

July 15, 2006 6:51 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

i can hear that intro you wrote reverberating off the walls like a heavyweight boxing match. great announcement!!!

boyed, whatever happens tomorrow, i will have won. to have had such a thing written about me is an honor especially since i know you would never blow smoke for sport or show. if i could only channel your own wordsmithing through this hide i would surely claim the mayden. thank you sweet boyed.

mayden: there is no finer friend. we've sparred and circled back 'round. this is a good roost and i am glad you have found your way here.

/(soft) grrrr

July 16, 2006 7:53 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

oh this is definately sport and show dear dawg - but also quite true! happy to be your promoter - hahaha!

mayden - you are too modest. you have lead the dawg into the ring as well as two others.

btw - shots of jack are far less lethal than mint juleps. to appear a lady, one can drink juleps; to maintain propriety, one can drink shots. it's a conundrum.

July 16, 2006 8:02 AM  
Blogger Percival said...

Art thou male or female, Brazen Bird! I know not what sort of consideration, if any, I ought to show thee...

As to thy distempered friend - Ha! - and, "Ha!" again!

July 16, 2006 8:25 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

ah, befuddled one -show that consideration which your code of ethics dictates, but exercise caution - your antiquated, victorian views of gender roles may receive a bashing in this roost. (i shall have to invite miss e's alter ego to come by and parade about in her body lotion - such goings-on occur occassionally here).

what say you dawg? should i invite that alter-ego to the next partay with Jae?

i do love the new moniker "brazen bird" - it quite suits me fine.

July 16, 2006 8:41 AM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

Bird ~

I think brazen bird suits you well, too. Thank you for accepting my alter-ego here, since Silly men don't seem to like it at all around their way. :P

BTW..thank you so much for your post about high school teachers. That made my night. Indeed, I am tired after six years of teaching and hope this summer is a good recovery time for me. Ironically, the administration's antics become more tiring than the students do!

Thanks again,
Amy K

July 16, 2006 7:50 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

yes indeed bird! it is obvious that i am smitten with lady jane in whatever manifestation she may choose. now she's in for mr toads wild ride! hahahaha

boyed: the duel's been postponed. maydens grandfather died today. she said she will be back this weekend.

/(soft) grrrr

July 16, 2006 8:28 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

i meant with you and jae ...toads wild ride. i cant think....i keep thinking of you as the tiny and stacked don king!


July 16, 2006 8:31 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

hahahaha - a stacked don king!

yes - wild rides here at the roost if enough ladies drop by to partay. you would of course be the only beast invited.

July 16, 2006 10:02 PM  
Blogger J Cosmo Newbery said...

Mmmm...methinks the voting may be rigged. On one hand I have Percy the Policeman with every patrolman plus a few vagrants to rally to his cause. On the other hand I have the Dark Duke of Doggerel with every furry or feathered friend he can gather with a bag of Good-Os and a paw full of millet.

This is not looking good.

July 16, 2006 11:24 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

j cosmo newbery: surely you are not suggesting bribery here. i have never offered payola of millet or good-os (whatever the hell that is)......

however, those drawings i did that, what was it you said?, were "a result of too much time on my hands"?.... may have been a wise investment of time. labors of love have their karmic boomerang dont they!??

however tributes of pinot noir may increase YOUR chances....

bird: dont rag on the giants. you could have the braves. grrrr...i like the trainer who wouldnt rat out BB and chose to go to prison instead. fidelity defined! nobody likes a snitch. he'll get protection and respect in the pen. and out in less than 18 i predict.


July 17, 2006 5:58 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

i do not imbibe millet - blech! but cosmo, i would be more than happy to swill some pinot noir. can you recommend an appropriate dish to compliment? of course, my mind is already made up regarding the duel, though my decision has no bearing on outcome.

no, k9, no ragging really on my giants - a mere statement of fact. nonetheless, i love 'em. can't get enough of 'em. and i'm headed back to the park next weekend as well.

BB is both boon and bain. exciting to watch (another HR yesterday as he chases aaron - in a leisurely fashion), and he has done a lot for this ballclub. yet ... his athletic prowess is declining and we tend to build the team around him (didn't work so well for us at all last year).

i keep reminding myself that the man has never tested positive, and of course if his public persona wasn't so assholish - well ... there would never be such a hue and cry....

my hairdresser tells me bonds is set to move down south (oh the horror) and play DH for the the los angeles angels of anaheim (hahahaha - i love their ridiciulous marketing ploy - i think the city of anaheim is suing the angels for the name change - poor cherubs - hah!).

July 17, 2006 6:34 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

boyed, is BB really an ahole? which came first, his attitude, or the relentless hounding by the press. man give the hitter a break until you have absolute proof. ...look at what happened to lance armstrong...sort of the same situation.
they think hes a jerk in france (they think we are all jerks in france)


July 17, 2006 7:28 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

i should retitle this post the baseball debate!

yeah, bonds is a jerk - he's been known to be quite surly and snarly with fans, even the young ones (who worship him). being a hank aaron fan, i can't help but compare the two men - think of the racist crap aaron had to put up with (not to mention death threats) and he never behaved like an ass.

yup - bonds can be a jerk - but he's san francisco's jerk and we love him.

bonds has lightened up quite a bit since hitting 715 - actually blows kisses to the crowd in sf with some regularity- he can be a charmer with that sweet smile when he wants to be.

regardless - being a a-hole should not be part of the indictment/steroids hunt. on that i'll defend bb any time.

i was about to box a so-called fan's ears yesterday at the game for dissing bonds - guy kept making comments about bonds moving too slow, etc., etc. didn't see the fan out there playing in the heat, or hitting no 721 homeruns! discussing bonds on blogs and in living rooms is one thing - dissing the man during a game - or in the park itself - completely unacceptable! our ballpark is, in many ways, the house that bonds built.

dawg - you are workin' me too hard - making me out to be a giants and barry basher when i'm not. i should flap and squawk! or peck yer eyes out. or spatter your yard with foul (pun intended - yuck,yuck) green streams of birdshit.

but i want to keep you in good shape and form for your upcoming duel, so i'll restrain myself - hahahaha!

off to warp young minds (someone has to do it!)


July 17, 2006 8:13 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

agreed on hank aaron. long time ago you talked about the sober protests at selma, you touched on a truth. and that is, in those days a black athlete didn't have the luxury of arrogance and bad behavior. they had to be excellent in everyway. and it served them well.

when i read you had interviewed hank aaron i was jealous. he is the great man. and a good person from all i've seen and heard.

i had not intended to paint you as a hater!! it really was a question, not really knowing bonds beyond the media spin....good to hear it straight from a true fans mouth.

"he's an ahole but he's OUR ahole" theres that fidelity thing again...recognizing the house that barry built. his character flaws cannot take away what he has earned. nice birdie....don't drop the burning white on me!!!


July 17, 2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

man, am I running behind on blogs! Sunset Monday has passed, at least on the East Coast... who wins this here showdown, blogaroos?

July 17, 2006 7:54 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

bogs - showdown has been delayed -- the mayden, who set this duel in motion, was called away on a family emergency - her grandfather has passed, for which we are all truly sorry (and i mean that sincerely though it doesn't seem to come out that way).

but the battle shall be joined (so i understand) later in the week.

all-in-all, the whole thing has gotten quite out of hand. the Contessa is involved as well now - demanding a smackdown in a pudding-filled arena with the mayden, and all manner of folk are running about slipping under hoop skirts and tossing off forssooths and tis's and so forths and so ons and such and other expressions that bespeak of an older and seeminly innocent yet decidely more complicated age. (i also believe that somewhere someone is eating wallpaper and playing chopin in the attic.)

i implore you to simply follow the links and study up on the whole thing. i do advise that you lift a pint or two before you trace all the various steps; it may perchance give you better odds at understanding the whole affair.

in the meantime, i have left a calling card at the dog's yard asking for some real down-home, rappin-words to help us pass the time. besides, it will keep his wordsmithing muscles flexed for the contest.

i am quite sure that anyone visiting will have no idea what on earth i am babbling about. see what wreck this has all wrought? pity. the bird's lost it.


July 17, 2006 8:42 PM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

ok, as far as I can tell, three bloggers are competing for the affections of the divine Maiden Cora... (does the winner claim her maidenhead? sorry, couldn't resist...)

the regle de jeu seem to be a duel in the form of prose, with Cora picking her gallant suitor based on his superior work(?)

not sure how Contessa fits in this - maybe she is challenging Cora for the affections of one of these gentlemen? - but I'd pay to see that pudding-wrestling match between them... I am typing with one hand right now just thinking about it... ;-)

July 18, 2006 6:03 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark


you'll appreciate this: i have turned my paper in on time as agreed even though i entered the game late, the dawg needs no excuses. Percival, however, has nada this a.m.
the maydens choice comes at the time of her choosing but the ever faithful dog delivers true to his word.


July 18, 2006 6:44 AM  
Blogger Percival said...

I second Newbury on the voting, i.e., concerning thee, with respect to being on the Dog's side. And not me. My colleagues on the NYPD oft as not look awry upon mine poesy; I curry nor carry no favor there. I am an orphan in the world, and quite bereft.

July 18, 2006 9:49 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

sink me, sink me...

July 18, 2006 11:40 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

Pissy Percy Baby,

Seems to me you are currying a sympathy vote here.

It is most unattractive and does not stand you in good stead.

July 18, 2006 5:03 PM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

regarding Percy -

he went down, down, down in a burning ring of fire... (or he will, I predict)

July 19, 2006 4:00 AM  
Blogger Percival said...

Biddie Birdy Beastly: How darest thee! I would smite thine face with mine riding glove, were't thou a man.

Therefore, I displace my disaffection and strike Sir Mud Flats.

Still, I do fancy a woman of spirit.

July 19, 2006 7:48 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

Oh Percy of the Velvet-Glove,

How darest I?

Sir Mudflats is a stout lad and no doubt will find your posturings entertaining (though not too much so).

I, however, am not in the least amused. Insult upon insult – and just when I was beginning to form a marignally favorable opinion of you (despite your flaws).

Take some laudanum, dear fellow.

July 20, 2006 6:54 AM  
Blogger Percival said...

I have reposted on mine blog, devious maiden.

Pete: Any relation to Wade?

July 20, 2006 9:12 AM  
Blogger Percival said...

I just noticed - "marignally" is quite a mezemerizing word.

Hast thou been conversing then, with Miss Jane Eyre (of "ThursdayNext")?

Marignal sounds quite a lot larger than marginal, indeed, near regal; and I am glad that I have begun to find such favor here.

cc Miss Eyre

July 21, 2006 11:06 AM  
Blogger Mayden's Voyage said...

All is settled...and bird you were quite right!

The K9 has taken my heart- and is probably dragging it around in the yard as we speak! LOL

Percy dear- if you read this- it was hard to choose and I did right by you in the end...you are a man with passions that I alone could not satisfy...
Well, after a romp with K9, I might have learned a thing or 2 :)

But as of yet, K9 has not accepted...so I wait :)

July 21, 2006 6:44 PM  
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