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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

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Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

News Bits

On rare occasions these days, I actually read a "real" newspaper - you know the kind - it's printed on newsprint, has weird folds and crinkles across the pages, and makes that ruffling sound as you turn one long, awkward page after another.

Scanning the pages of the SF Chron today, here's some quick bites:

"SF supervisors ask lawmakers to impeach Bush"
Silly. Irrelevant. To everyone else in the country, the SF supes are either unknown, or viewed as leftie-lunatics. This is a waste of time.

"Americans know their Simpsons"
The McCormick Freedom Tribute Museum in Chicago took a poll and discovered more Americans can name at least two members of the Simpsons cartoon family than can list the freedoms guaranteed in the First Amendment. Additionally, more Americans are apt to remember advertising slogans and jingles than those freedoms.

Pop Quiz bloggers - what are the five freedoms guaranteed in the First Amendment? And what pithy, memorable ad slogan can you come up with to help folks remember them?

"Bill to pre-empt state food safety rules"
Once again in the misguided attempt to create national standards (because us little ol' consumers are just SO confused by varying food labels from state to state), the feds are actually trying to lower standards. Of most concern to the Feds are those labels that warn about cancer. Hmmm....

"Women hold 16% of lawmaker jobs" (Ok, this one just really infuriates me - I want to shout nasty, foul, bad, dirty-dirty words and kick and scream and throw dishes. But I won't, because I am after all, a mature, responsible woman, quite capable of rational thought and reasoning.)

The UN reports that although women are a little over half the world's population and a "record number" of women are now involved in governmental bodies around the world, a scant 16% are actually lawmakers - guess in which country this stat falls below the average? You guessed it - that beacon of democracy and fair representation - the good ol U S of A.

But all of the above is of no major importance - baseball season is upon us. And look who showed up at the Giants' spring training camp:

The ever-so-sweet-and-lovely Barry-as-Paul Abdul-Bonds.
Oh, Palaberrie - you cute thang you. Now go take a lap!

22 Comments:

Blogger Pete Bogs said...

The Simpsons is funnier than the Constitution... Bush thinks the Constitution is a joke, however...

people remember funny things...

March 01, 2006 11:58 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

PS - Bonds appears to be doing a Rodman impression...

March 01, 2006 11:58 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

Oh Bogs! Bonds is way cuter than Rodman!

Actually, though I'm a Giants fan, I am not too fond of Barry (though, yeah, it is fun to watch him hit one out of the ballpark). The Giants need to learn to play without him (granted, Bonds in the lineup changes the game, but let's not build the team around him). I really don't want him to beat Hank Aaron's record. Aaron was not only, in my opinion, a better all-around player, but also worked effectively to better to his community and the lot of black athletes; he was a teamplayer and a gracious and caring man - far cry from Bonds. I had the good fortune to interview him for my high school paper shortly after he broke Babe Ruth's record.

March 01, 2006 2:54 PM  
Blogger Blue said...

As an Aussie I can name 2 of your 1st amendment things (I think):

Freedom of speech
Right to bear arms (or arm bears?)

But I can name all the Simpson family:

Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, maggie, Grandpa Simpson

Then theres the rest....

My son is a Simpsons Freak!!!

March 01, 2006 5:58 PM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

BB - we can both bear arms and arms bears... we'll need to give those grizzlies some protection of the ANWR gets opened up to oil drilling... of course, the bears will be considered terrorists then...

March 02, 2006 11:18 AM  
Blogger Hellpig said...

Being a Commercial Crab Fisherman and spending two four month contracts in Alaska per year,The grizzlies need no protectection they are wicked tough,with or without firearms,ANWR crack it open,stop foriegn dependancy.

Sorry off topic again,What was the question?

March 02, 2006 11:34 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Yeah! If your not a neocon you must be a terrorist. Or not. Either way, the grizzlies will get you if you don't look out.

Maybe the bears are weapons of mass destruction. They do have the mass for it.

March 02, 2006 11:50 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

ik denk it were queen latifah for a minute. hallo bird you warping heads today? ja i say arm da bears. i have own cache under the sneeuw. is okay you know, just in case.

March 02, 2006 3:23 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

Given all the belching bears do (thus contributing to global warming - think I read that in some well-written and painstakingly researched piece) perhaps they really are terrorists. Indeed, we need to redirect the attention of Homeland Security, the NSA, the CIA, and the Pentatgon toward the bears - a clear and present danger to our national security and American way of life. I'm at a loss to understand how this could have slipped by the Bush administration - they are just SOOOOOOOO on top of things.

And to return to the topic (sort of)Do bears have a right to bare arms? Do they have a right to assemble? (Rumors of gathering bears wearing ski masks are whipping about the Internet. Where are the tracking devices when we need them? Bears have no expectation of privacy, do they?

March 02, 2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

freya, freya - so lovely to see you here!

March 02, 2006 3:27 PM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

perhaps most important, do belching bears have the right to bare all?

March 02, 2006 5:34 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

Now Bogs, tell me, would a bare bear be bearographic or bearerotic?

March 02, 2006 5:55 PM  
Blogger ffff said...

I am not sure they mean 'belching' when environmentalists talk about the expelling of air being a threat to global warming. I think in your lovely, polite American way, you are referring to the farting of animals including cattle.

Talking about terrorist in the USA could you let me know how serious is this group called "MS13"? Having just seen a programme on them I am terrified and I live on the other side of the world! What is the government doing about them now they have infiltrated 33 states and are making every day lives hell by asking for protection money. They are armed and they are certainly not bears. Please could you help me in my education of this phenomenon.

March 02, 2006 9:35 PM  
Blogger D'artagnan said...

Do not be alarmed!The bears are NOT TERRISTS! I have it on good authority from A.A Milne that the bears are only interested in your Hunny.
If however,your hunny is interested in bears,you DO have a problem.I suggest you resort to the time honoured practice in your country of seeking therapy for all three of you.

March 02, 2006 9:41 PM  
Blogger Hellpig said...

Alison said... Talking about terrorist in the USA could you let me know how serious is this group called "MS13"?

Google MS13 plenty of info,unfortunatly the MSM won't cover this in fear of PC,although there was a raid a month ago or so that rounded about 200 of them up.

People just don't realize that America has already been invaded by 20+ million.

March 02, 2006 10:21 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

d'artagnan,
though i dearly love Winnie-the-Pooh, he is a civilzed bear (after all, he drinks tea you know) and not representative of all bears (especially those wild and wooly, belching, farting bears).

However, even though Winnie and his cohort are mild-mannered and harmless, I understand the Bush adminstration wants them wiretapped. Most especially Winnie. Seems his addiction to hunnee might allow him to be blackmailed - and no doubt terrorists could easily manipulate him into revealing any national security secrets he might be privvy too. Of course, it's a bit far-fetched, certainly the Brits can keep a better eye on Winnie than the NSA or CIA - afer all, he is a citizen of jolly-old England.

March 03, 2006 12:20 AM  
Blogger disguised said...

No worries, global warming has already made the average mama polar bear 50 pounds lighter. That biggest bear bread will disappear to our wonderful country's enlightened ways. No more need to bare arms!

Protection money, schmecshin money. If you've seen the mafia once, you've seen it a thousand times. Italian mob, Russian mob, Irish mob, gangsta. (Notice only the gangsters are villified in da movies.) Just get a job with a union and schmooz!

Now, for a campaign: A take off on the California's first five years campaign for underpriviledged children. The First Five, Ignore Them and You'll Lose 'Em.

March 03, 2006 12:54 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

bird, how do you think the Bush administration missed Katrina? They were spending time and energy, not to mention money, on the bears. As for bears baring arms, they might be able to if they were prehensile. Operating zippers without a thumb is a bitch.

Pete, the bears might it bare all, but without the assurance of complete privacy, they probably won't. Here's a thought, what do they do at those times of the year when there is perpetual night?

bird, you didn't mention bearoporno.

Alison, belchiing is farting, but at the other end of the body. Think about it. lol

Enjoy life!

March 03, 2006 5:05 AM  
Blogger K9 said...

piglet is who really under fire though he tak no hunny ever!

March 03, 2006 5:33 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

bird, have you ever read the Michael series by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro? If so an email from you would be appreciated.

March 03, 2006 10:11 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

you know, thinking about it, I imagine the Bush administration might try to take away a bear's right to bare all (but not to bear arms), as it is inappropriate since some Boy Scouts on a camping trip might see and be emotionally scarred for life...

March 03, 2006 12:28 PM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Yes, we must protect the boy scouts. Just thinking of that horrific sight, bare bears, has caused me to wince and shudder. I am still puzzled about how bears operate zippers.

March 04, 2006 10:17 AM  

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