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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

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Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I'm Dreaming of My Winter Break, With Every Paper That I Grade ...

My winter break begins December 15 and lasts until January 21. Over the break I will:

Added 12/09:
See the new Bond movie.
Read some more about Barak Obama (run, Obama, run).

Lounge morning after morning in my silk pjs, with coffee and a croissant on a tea tray near my side and NO STUDENT ESSAYS anywhere in sight.

Make uglies from clay. Last time I did this was in Mrs. Farnsworth's fourth grade class – it was the best art activity ever!

Daydream, wonder and worry about the ‘07 baseball season. Jason Schmidt has left the Giants’ bull pen – he defected to the damnable Dodgers. Will we have a closer? Hell, will we have a pitching staff that’s worth anything? Will Bonds stay or will he go?

Play The Clash as loud as possible and wait for some cranky neighbor to complain.

Make New Year’s cards from the cut-up scraps of old Christmas cards. Who knows if I’ll even send one – it doesn’t matter.

Play my CD with Dean Martin singing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” over and over – until I never want to hear it again (or a cranky neighbor complains).

Spend an afternoon reading (some novel that I have absolutely no intention of using in any class I’ll ever teach) and napping on Ocean Beach. I’ll bring a thermos of hot cocoa, my favorite cuddly blanket, some apples, and a bag of dog treats to share with any four-foot that comes along.

Listen to Handel’s Messiah, especially the part with “Unto us, a child is given.”

Write some very bad, very cliché erotica.

Walk 4 miles a day. Lift weights three times a week. Drink a glass of champagne every Saturday night.

Sign up for salsa lessons.

Never ever set the alarm clock.

But until then, back to paper-grading!


Anonymous Anonymous said...


the secret
life of terns

this sounds just like that teachers rock! episode of girls gone wild -- yeah!

it does sound like a wonderful and no doubt well deserved break, bird -- but of course you must make some time for blogging, too


December 06, 2006 7:40 PM  
Blogger disguised said...

Wasn't there an episode of English teachers gone wild recently? We all threw our pencils so hard, they stuck to the ceiling!

December 06, 2006 8:17 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

all right you two, disguised and /t., maybe i should write a piece of cliche erotica about english teachers gone wild. only then it won't really be erotica, it'll be plain old-fashioned smutty porn. what the hell - it might be fun!

for you disguised - imagine, a piece of erotic in which the nararrator (sp?) describes various sex acts with major compositionist thoeorists - expressivist sex with elbow, highly-academic sex with bartholomae, process-oriented or re-visionary sex with donald murray, sex in a socio0cultural context with mc-cormick....oh and let's expand this - meta-sex with flavell. oh, this is quite exciting, my nipples are getting hard just thinking about it - hahahahaha!

and yes, /t, blogging is part of the break. i'll post the porn/erotica, pictures of uglies, etc.

oh, i can hardly wait!

December 06, 2006 8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


can hardly wait

terns got nipples...



December 06, 2006 8:55 PM  
Blogger disguised said...

Oh, all this theory gets me hot, hot, hot!!

Revision sex--hmmm--would that be someone who can do it more than once in an evening but doesn't always get it "right" on the first try?? Tee. Hee.

December 06, 2006 11:15 PM  
Blogger disguised said...

Of course, I've seen Elbow up close, and there's just no way.....even if it is expressivist.

December 06, 2006 11:16 PM  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

That sounds nice. Can I join you?

December 07, 2006 3:00 AM  
Blogger Dirk_Star said...

Salsa lessons?

What is so hard about eating salsa?

You dip the chip in the salsa and eat...

Man, you teachers make everything so complicated.

December 07, 2006 7:59 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

now, now disguised - that's a very narrow view of revision - remember - it's re-visioning - it's not about error or fixing something - as in getting it right - it's about furthering the process - exploring more and more deeply the material at hand.

but definately - to be a true re-visionist, you've got to be able to do it more than once.

December 07, 2006 8:32 AM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

I am going to honor this amazing post and do the same! Minus a few things like cliche erotica since I don't have the talent for that and such. Except I only have a week to do things like drink cocoa and read. But hey, 7 days is better than nothin'! :)

December 07, 2006 8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey bird,

you party
with lambs
and the ghost of frank zappa?!?

whoa... renewed respect for teachers


December 07, 2006 11:17 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

I can hardly wait to see the results of your efforts.

terns with nipples!?!

Erotica vs. porn!?!

Interesting concepts.

What a novel way to stretch one's imagination. thanks for the guidance.

December 07, 2006 5:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm Sandra,
from Uzbekistan,
and I'm 15 y.o

Hi, Everyone
I've studied English sinse this Spring .
It's very difficult for Me! Really hard!
I want like to meet girls and practisice My English with them.

Thank You

December 07, 2006 10:37 PM  
Blogger lettuce said...

I identify so much with the previous post! I have students like both of those you describe - those who think they are "owed" good grades, and can cash in family problems, and those who work so hard despite real hardship.

No student Essays - what a delicious daydream.

And do terns really have nipples?

December 08, 2006 1:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is spam:

Anonymous said...
I'm Kortny,
from Uzbekistan,
and I'm 14 y.o

Hi, Girl and Boy
I've studied English sinse Winter .
It's very!
I want like to meet handsome gays and girls and practisice My English with them.

Thanks all!!


December 08, 2006 8:33 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

or perhaps anonymous is part of a sting operation - crusing the blogosphere, the operation picked up on key terms and targeted this blog in hopes of entrapping someone...

perhaps a tern with nipples...(though there seems to be some concern or rather doubt, that terns have nipples...)

or perhaps any number of composition theorists who may or may not be engaged in sexual activities.

dear anon: take your spamming, enlgish-learning, entrapment activities elsewhere... i'd delete your comment, but it now provides fodder for intrigue and humor.

December 08, 2006 10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


i picked up
the kortny post
on another blog, bird

surprisingly, we weren't discussing tern nipples :)

what these two posts have in common is that 1) they're both anonymous, and 2) they're both found on blogs without word verification -- as is most (from what i've seen) of the spam here in blogger

i used to have word verification on my blog comments until little lamb convinced me that simply not allowing anonymous comments would eliminate 99% of the spam -- that was a couple of months ago, and so far, i remain 99% spam free(!)


December 08, 2006 10:47 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

valid points there /t., but i prefer to allow anonymous comments - sometimes it's somebody who is shy and wants to hide; other times it's someone who is not "enrolled" on blogspot. i can put up with the occassional spammer. rough assessment: in the two years i've been blogging, i can count the spam comments on one hand.

December 08, 2006 11:49 AM  
Blogger One Girl In A Big World said...

4 miles a day...a nap on the beach-
You have to go see the James Bond movie before you start any erotica!

Yummm! 100% yum!

yum, yum, yum, yum, yum!

I'm a goof- sorry! :)

December 08, 2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

i love your explanation of revison bird. thats great. it means its not definite -you can still pull it out. its not about error. excellent.

boyed ya know how to live. punishing the neighbors with the clash? thats classy.

i give you an "A"


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