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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

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Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Monster

QUINCY, Mass. – Authorities in a city just south of Boston say a pregnant woman killed her 9-year-old daughter and stabbed herself in the stomach to kill her unborn child.

Norfolk District Attorney William Keating says 38-year-old Fang Chi Xue (SHWAY) was treated for self-inflicted stab wounds to the arms and abdomen at Boston Medical Center and is expected to be arraigned Friday on two counts of murder. She was 7 1/2 months pregnant.

Police were called to the family home Thursday night by a 14-year-old girl who survived the attack with minor injuries.

Keating says the 9-year-old girl suffered stab wounds to her wrists, but authorities are also investigating whether she was poisoned.

Keating says the incident was sparked by an argument.


Sparked by an argument. The understatement chills me. This incident was more than likely the result of years of repression and depression, desperateness, sickness. What could this woman have been thinking, feeling? Despair must have been her only companion. How she must hate her life – and how much more she must hate it now.

How desperate she must be – to inflict such wounds on herself in an effort to rid herself of the baby she carries inside. What went on in that household between her and her nine year-old daughter? Where was the father? Relatives? Friends? Neighbors? Somehow, this woman languished alone in her own dark thoughts.

Who is the 14 year-old girl? Is she a family member? Friend? She must have witnessed all of this. The yelling, screaming, running. The mother catching up with the nine year-old and wielding a knife against her. That 14-year will carry the color of blood with her all her life.

I don’t want to go to school to teach this morning. I want to stay home and write about this. A poem, a piece of flash fiction … something.

How terrible to turn this “incident” into grist for a creative mill. But isn’t that what we do? How does this incident fit into the picture we have of ourselves? How can we tidy this up, clean up the blood and fear and hate that palpates from this story? How can we make sense out of the senseless? Could not anyone of us been capable of this deed? Isn’t that the truly scary part of this tale? Deep inside humanity there lies a monster – one we impose boundaries on and keep at bay. And when that monster breaks out in any of us, we shudder. We don’t want to see the dark reflection of ourselves. We don’t want to admit that of this too we are capable.

3 Comments:

Blogger Jack K. said...

A very sobering posting, bird.

Life is fragile most of the time. Unfortunately, we try to cover our pain with a variety of soporifics. You know the list. It may be as innocent as TV, but can swiftly move on to alcohol and drugs, and......

If we are never taught to respect ourselves how can we respect others. If we are led to believe we are worthless, then we don't deserve the help.

If we are worthless can we do something heroic with our miserable lives? Maybe we can spare our children the misery.

Yeah, it is a sick way of looking at the situation, but it may be closer to the truth then some are willing to admit.

How do we keep our monster under control? What will the defining moment be when our monster may show itself?

These words came to mind as I was writing this comment.

There's a world where I can go and tell my secrets to
In my room, in my room
In this world I lock out all my worries and my fears
In my room, in my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming
Lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing
Laugh at yesterday

Now its dark and Im alone
But I wont be afraid
In my room, in my room
In my room, in my room
In my room, in my room
Some obviously have darker thoughts in their room.

Thanks for this posting. It should give us all pause.

Hope all went well at school. I suspect your students didn't even know about the carnage you described.

April 18, 2009 4:19 AM  
Blogger Bird said...

Thanks Jack.

If only this woman had kept her monster in her room...

Or better yet - if only she had let the monster out in the safety of a doctor's office - through her words. Maybe she did - maybe she was seeking help and it just wasn't enough.

April 18, 2009 8:39 AM  
Blogger boneman (and his wild zinnia) said...

an openly gay atheist alien that wanted socialism?

Her love of bush junior and the bad mouthing the man got was too much for her to mentally resist?


Indiana's version of this horror story is that a lady, distraught about her divorce put her kids in an SUV and went flying down a major highway in the wrong lanes till she finally found a vehicle to plow into. Seevral kids died, passengers in the oncoming car died, she lived.

Or the moron who put her children in seat restraints (oh...so THAT'S what they're for) in the backseat of her SUV and drove it into a pond in some housing developement.
Oh, no...she got out herself befor the vehicle went into the water.


I know the name of your piece here, "monster" is meant for the lady you wrote about.
Another monster is why has this been happenning for all these centuries?
For all these many millenia?

April 18, 2009 10:49 AM  

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