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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

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Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Gay Penguins and the Portrayal of Their Wicked and Evil Lifestyle Banned from Children’s Library!

Once upon a time, in the late 1990s in the New York City Zoo, a wickedly -rutting female penguin had a bawdy one-night-stand. Not wanting anything to do with egg-bearing and the resulting penguin-raising that would follow a successful hatch, this female hunted high and low for a zoo pharmacy that would dispense the much-coveted Plan B birth control pill. Alas, no pharmacy in her neck of the woods would dispense such a pill, and she popped out an egg in due course. But this female penguin was terribly lacking in all the true, feminine, maternal qualities (c’mon – she was a slut and wannabe-baby-penguin killer), and she ran off willy-nilly, without any regard or fare-thee-well to the misbegotten egg.

Meanwhile, two male penguins, Roy and Silo, had for inexplicable reasons, suddenly taken it into their heads to shack up and then, worse still, began to pretend that a rock they found together was an egg. They built a nest and took turns sitting on their rock egg, clearly hoping for some sort of miracle.

And behold – the miracle occurred! A zookeeper (kind of heart no doubt, but with seriously misguided family values) took pity on the male penguins and their desire to raise a family and offered up to them the abandoned egg from that aforementioned rutty female penguin of exceptionally low moral character. Much to Roy’s and Silo’s delight, the egg hatched and they became the proud pappas of Tango, whom they raised to penguin maturity. Of course, after Tango was raised, Roy and Silo were unable to harmoniously negotiate the shift to an empty nest, and subsequently split up (further reinforcing the religious right’s premise that gays are not equipped for long-term relationships – unlike their heterosexual counterparts who of course are much better at such long-haul, committed relationships.)

A very clever author came along and seeing the potential for profit, wrote a children’s book about the life and love of Roy and Silo, and said book was published and placed into the children's section of a Savannah, Missouri public library.

Shocking indeed – for what would such a tale teach children? Why – it would no doubt encourage the practice of wicked and evil homosexuality (though it also could serve as a cautionary tale to young girls). The book's value as a cautionary tale notwithstanding, to protect the children of Savannah, the book was moved to the nonfiction section.


Blogger Jack K. said...

Thanks for the synopsis of the saga of Roy, Silo, Tango and a decidedly loose penguin mother. Your writing is absolutely marvelous. I now have another person whose writing skills I can envy. And, I am sorry I haven't told you this before.

It is beyond me how folks can get so riled up about some very personal views. I wonder what response homophobics might give should they be asked to tell the precise behaviors that homosexuals engage in that are so abhorrent. If they answer as I suspect they might, you would have a much clearer perspective of the difference between erotica and pornograpy.

If the story is anything like your posting, it has got to be a beautiful story. It sounds as though thoughtful religious people could use it to teach the loving tenets of their particular believe system. How better to emphasize the concept of serving, caring and sharing the love in your heart? It is a great way to interact with the world.

March 06, 2006 10:30 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

how can anyone have a problem with a story about an abandoned child being cared for by kind, well-meaning strangers?

this female penguin must be from South Dakota, btw... she should have just gone to an alley or something...

is Missouri going to euthanize dogs that hump same-sex dogs? it could happen... there's a Congressional candidate somewhere who want homosexuality to be a capital offense...

March 06, 2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger ffff said...

Love your post. Wonderful explanation in story form at the misplaced attitudes to my gay friends and relatives and the sexy beasts out there without any access to contraception. Both laudable subjects that need to be addressed NOW.

March 06, 2006 7:07 PM  
Blogger disguised said...

And although some may have focused their worries on whether that little, lucky penguin would emulate it's parents' same-sex partnership, really what they raised was a little penguin who could appreciate penguins with other opinions and perspectives.

March 06, 2006 10:26 PM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

I forgot to mention that the photos were delightful. They add so much to a posting.

March 07, 2006 3:40 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

what, Jack, do you have a thing for male penguins?

I kid!


March 07, 2006 10:18 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Damned transparent closet doors. Is bestiality still illegal? However, I think I have allergic to penquins, male or female. Besides, I think they may be tough and not even taste like chicken or rattlesnake.

No, I actually prefre the fantasy with Nic and Naomi and Alba and... Oh hell, I'm old enough to know what is fantasy and what is not and what may never be possible. Dreams are fun!

March 07, 2006 1:51 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

Boyed! I missed you! I'm pro-penguin whatever the configuration, girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl! how goes your quest for the funkay limo ride?


March 07, 2006 3:30 PM  
Blogger Bird said...

Jack - thanks for the compliment!

woofs and wags to you.
i'm focusing my attention more on teaching right now rather than chasing down limos....but gee, now i feel some pressure to perform! hahaha!

To all:I have heard from that poor penguin who started the whole thing - the one who abandoned her egg (she prefers to remain anonymous). Apparently, I got the story wrong. The patriarchial society (so phobic about women's sexuality) labeled her as rutty - but she is really just a normal, healthy, sexually active young penguin and in the heat of passion -well she forgot to insert her birth control (her partner promised to "pull out" - simpletons - they just didn't know that withdrawal isn't an effective means of birth control - they weren't taught that in their abstinence only sex-ed courses).

she felt horrible. she tried to obtain an abortion - but the NY Zoo has banned all abortion services completely. she did try to obtain the morning-after pill, but we know how that went. she was desparate, and so she did abandon her egg. a trajedy in many ways, but at least roy and silo were there at the time, and allowed to parent little Tango.

o course the zookeeper who gave roy and silo the egg to foster has been severely reprimanded and the zoo is looking into legislation that will prohibit homosexuals from raising children.

March 08, 2006 8:37 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

An interesting thought, were Roy and Silo an item before or after the egg? A world shaking question. Perhaps they were just good buddies before the egg. Pity that they should be labled just for wanting to do the proper thing. I almost used right, but realized that might imply a connection they would not agree with. Although it could cause the Right some embarrasement. Oh, goody, goody. :-))

March 09, 2006 4:13 PM  
Blogger ardlair said...

Well you learn something new every day.

I thought it would be too cold there for that kind of thing.

Just shows, you can't keep a good man down.

March 12, 2006 9:42 AM  

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