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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

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Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

The Natural Culling of Males

A recent study shows that the population of males on our planet is declining. Yes indeed, fewer males are being born and fewer males make it past infancy – and this is a worldwide trend. Mother Nature is “culling” the male population in a “systemic fashion.”


Although the true cause is yet to be known, researchers suspect environmental factors. While females seem better able to withstand the assault of “gender-bending pollutants,” it’s getting harder to conceive a male, harder to bring one to term, and harder for the poor dears to survive in the early years.

In the tradition of Jerry Falwell, may I suggest that perhaps this is God’s punishment on males?

So men, heed the warning – make some changes:

Put down the toilet seat
Pick up your socks
Ask for directions
Share your emotions
Stop beating your wives, daughters, sisters, etc.
Relinquish all attempts to control women’s bodies
Change your war-mongering ways
Moderate your obsessions with sports and video games
And cease the farting and belching as well

before God weeds you out!

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Blogger Jack K. said...

A very sobering study.

While visiting Vancouver, BC, recently we were looking for the Salvation Army Thrift store. We had gotten some information and were headed in the correct direction, but needed more specific advice. As the driver, I pulled into a convenience store and asked the two women behind the counter for the directions to the Salvation Army. They were both puzzled. A young woman customer was equally puzzled. As I left the store a young man was passing by. He was a bit scruffy looking, needed a haircut, had the requisite tattoos and do-rag. When asked the same question he immediately said, "Yeah, go to the next corner, take a right and it is half way down the block." I was within a block of the place just as the young man said.

I wonder what that says about the advice in this posting? giggle. snerx.

BTW, Dr. Oz, said on Oprah recently, that EVERYONE of us will pass gas at least 14 times a day.

Who am I to go against doctor's orders? tee hee.

Excuse me, that was probably #7 for the day. snerx.

(At least I excused myself.)

June 05, 2007 1:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

now jack, are you implying that men are innately more capable with geographical directions than women? well! of course, there is a recent study that says something to that affect - apparently straight men and lesbians are better at directions than gay men and women. nonetheless, even if we directionally impaired, we seem to be surviving far better than you guys. hee hee hee!


June 05, 2007 1:28 PM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

Can we also add it wouldnt hurt to go to the ballet once in a while to that list? ;)

June 05, 2007 3:43 PM  
Blogger J Cosmo Newbery said...

I do put down the toilet seat
I'll pick up my socks when Mrs N gives me back two the same colour.
Ask for directions - no, sorry, accept that the male brain does not work that way. We're visual, not verbal.
Share your emotions [...]
Stop beating your wives, daughters, sisters, etc. - Never started.
Relinquish all attempts to control women’s bodies - asymmetric control happening here, they play with my mind.
Change your war-mongering ways - never mongered a war, never will.
Moderate your obsessions with sports and video games - sorry, can't go below zero.
And cease the farting and belching as well - well, pfft! to you.

And ballet too?!

Next thing I know you will want me to dance.

June 05, 2007 4:35 PM  
Blogger onandon said...

Ummm...verry interesting.
Apparently the male population in China is causing problems. They never figured that with their "one child policy" (and that preferred one child was usually a male so females were either aborted or dropped off at the local orphanage) that this created huge societal problems and conflicts.

So too many men, and the world gets angry...too many women and we search for a solution!

(By the way more male babies are miscarried, die in the first year of life and have health worries soon after birth. See? Nature intended that females should be more likely to survive.)

June 05, 2007 5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cosmo: i (and many a woman throughout the world) commends you on your ability to close the toilet seat. perhaps you are not a man, mayhap a demi-god?

if you would dance (as well as enjoy an occassional ballet, theater production, and museum outing, and perhaps wash your own socks as well) you might just be considered a god.

thursday next - so lovely to see you. i have been remiss of late - not visting blogs. i owe you (and cosmo and onandon) a proper visit.


June 06, 2007 9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh my goodness, i just reread my comment to jack - and i note that i have classified gay women as lesbians and straight women as JUST women - implying that lesbians are not women?

my beak is quite red.

i meant to say "straight women." there is not doubt at all that gay women are indeed women.

my apologies.

as the bird flaps meekly away...

June 06, 2007 9:05 AM  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Well, I Never. Humph!! Your beak should be red. Of all the....


bird, I was only reporting an anecdotal experience.

Is it true if you never put the seat up that you never have to put it down? The back should go up not necessarily the seat.

You do come across some very interesting research.

Keep on flapping and Gliiiiiiding. giggle.

June 06, 2007 12:16 PM  
Anonymous CJ said...

No farting or belching??????
Jeez - You're no fun....

psssst.....pull my finger

June 07, 2007 6:31 AM  
Blogger firebird said...

I vote for the Fallwellian theory--

Seems to me that nature has rightly perceived an overpopulation of humans, and males are less critical to the survival of the species, biologically...

I also vote for farting as a healthy byproduct of eating...however, I feel that LOUD belching is ostentatious and gratuitous! My son does not agree.

June 07, 2007 6:50 PM  
Blogger Riki D said...

Just read this one.

And, interestingly, an anti-emetic (anti-puking) medicine given to pregnant women in the '60 and '70s made many children's genitalia "middle of the road"--not that this didn't happen in a certain percentage of the population (and not that that's the worst thing in the world), but it is something to be aware of. This medicine (I forget the name) make men have more female genitalia and makes women's genitalia more male.

June 08, 2007 8:27 PM  
Blogger boneman said...

maybe all we have to do is alter our "man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick" business....

June 10, 2007 8:06 AM  
Blogger Pete Bogs said...

this post has taught me the error of my ways... I will stop beating women forthwith... well, after just one more good beating, I promise...

June 18, 2007 9:17 AM  

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