The Natural Culling of Males

A recent study shows that the population of males on our planet is declining. Yes indeed, fewer males are being born and fewer males make it past infancy – and this is a worldwide trend. Mother Nature is “culling” the male population in a “systemic fashion.”

Hmmm.

Although the true cause is yet to be known, researchers suspect environmental factors. While females seem better able to withstand the assault of “gender-bending pollutants,” it’s getting harder to conceive a male, harder to bring one to term, and harder for the poor dears to survive in the early years.

In the tradition of Jerry Falwell, may I suggest that perhaps this is God’s punishment on males?

So men, heed the warning – make some changes:

Put down the toilet seat
Pick up your socks
Ask for directions
Share your emotions
Stop beating your wives, daughters, sisters, etc.
Relinquish all attempts to control women’s bodies
Change your war-mongering ways
Moderate your obsessions with sports and video games
And cease the farting and belching as well

before God weeds you out!