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Bird's Blog

Poetry, musings, observations, commentary, rants, confessions...and who knows what else!

My Photo
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Teacher, writer, poet, grandmother, lover, wine-drinker, chocolate eater, beach comber, hiker, traveler, Giants fan, San Franciscan. All work on this blog is copyrighted material.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Bird Takes A Lover

But no ordinary lover. I have been in love and yearning for the touch of this lover – to be kissed a soft, smooth kiss, to be held in cool arms that wrap themselves slowly and tenderly around my waist, for a long time. This love of mine is older than me, and when we first met, I, being but fifteen, was seduced, captivated by this love’s sophistication, charm, glamour. This love of mine treated me kindly, played with me, toyed with me, in a gentle way, ruffling my hair, smiling at me, tracing suggestively the contours of my face, my slim, curvy adolescent body, letting me know I was seen, I was felt. But though I wanted to consummate this love, my love would not have me – would not go quite so far as I, in my school girl crush, wanted to go.

But it was no school girl crush. For years, this love has been in my heart. And as I have grown and changed from those teenaged years, I’ve wanted this lover to see that I am a girl no longer, but a woman – and I know a thing or two now that I didn’t know before. Even during my marriage, I thought of this lover who is raucous and rowdy, sentimental and romantic – and found ways to be close, to circle the perimeter. For a long time, it was enough just to be within range, to see this lover occasionally and fantasize of what life with this lover would be like if only we could be together.

But it is no longer enough to dream of this love’s touch. My desire is no longer controllable – I cannot live without my love. I am compelled to do something – anything – to be with this lover, to consummate this love I have felt so long and so passionately, this love that began in my girlhood and has never left me. It must be true love; it must be my destiny.

I know, I know, I sound like a school girl even now. But I don’t care – I don’t care. I will have my love, and my love will have me!

For all these years that I have longed for this lover – this lover has been waiting for me – for me! All I had to do was make one, simple move – provide one sure action that told my love I was ready. That is all my love has been waiting for.

So I am making my move. And my love is willing and waiting for me. By August 18th, I will at last be with this love of mine. I am happy, excited, joyful, tingly with desire. I can hardly wait to hold this love in my arms and be held, to tease, play, and fulfill my love’s needs, to be teased, played and fulfilled in return.

But there is much to be done before I can rest in my lover’s arms. To keep me focused, to assure me of my love’s affection and desire, I have a picture of my lover, sprawled out seductively before me, open and willing, waiting for me, inviting me to play:

Yes, this is my love, my beloved San Francisco, and that is what I will see every day, from my new living room window – my lover, beckoning to me to venture forth, to come out and play, to run wild and enjoy all it has to offer, for my lover is a generous one and there is no end to its enchantments.

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

Bush Derangement Syndrome

Remember Bush Derangement Syndrome?

Coined by conservative Charles Krauthammer in 2003, BDS is “the acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the policies, the presidency -- nay -- the very existence of George W. Bush.”

The term quickly took hold with the Neo Cons and became a rabid pejorative for anyone who questioned Bush and his policies.

But apparently, according to Peggy Noonan, the Republicans, who now have a complete lack of faith and trust in Bush and who are beginning to seriously question him and his policies, are not suffering from BDS (as us poor libs did), rather, they have been “disappointed.”

Hey Peggy – those of us who suffered from BDS way back when – we knew what was coming, we told you all what was coming –and now here it is (heck – it’s been here all along, it’s just you folks have finally recognized it). When we rang the alarm bells, when we questioned, when we tried to reveal that the emperor had no clothes, we were accused of having some sort of psychological disturbance; now that you poor Repubs (who voted this fucking asshole in for a second term) are finally seeing the writing on the wall – well you don’t have BDS – you’re just disappointed in your President and no longer sure you can trust him.

Go figure.

I suspect the Repubs had BDS all along – the acute onset of a deranged, delusional, and irrational belief in George W. Bush as a trustworthy, intelligent, and competent leader, coupled with the need to not only believe in him as an authoritative father figure, but relinquish all control to him and his cronies, and squelch all debate and questioning of his policies and presidency to the point of glorifying his very existence.

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

8 Random Facts About Me

Boneman tagged me a few days (weeks?) ago and as Infini has tagged me as well, it's time to get one tag done before startin' the other. The pressure is on.

BTW Boney - you asked in a comment on the Hilary post if I was willing to choose between two evils because one was a Democrat. And you asked as well if I would vote Democrat if Dan Quayle got the nomination. You may find your answer in these 8 random facts about me.

1. I own 4 pairs of glasses: bifocals, reading glasses to go over my contact lenses, long-distance glasses to go over my contact lenses, and another pair of reading glasses to wear when I am not wearing my contacts. Crazy, huh?

2. Song Sung Blue by Neil Diamond played on the radio immediately after the first time I ever made love. I was never much of a Neil Diamond fan, but I have a softness in my heart for that song - or maybe I really have a softness in my heart (and somehwere else as well) for the generous lover who gently, playfully, expertly guided me through my first time. Bliss. All girls should have such a first-time experience.

3. Years ago, I managed somehow to get reservations for 6 for Thanskgiving dinner at the Awhanee Inn in Yosemite (mind you, people wait for months on a list to get into the Awhanee for Thanksgiving – I called at the precise right moment – sheer dumb luck). However, I had to cancel the reservation – no one else in my family wanted to go. They are nuts. I was even more nuts for not forcing them. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

4. In high school, I interviewed Hank Aaron for my high school newspaper – this was shortly after he broke Babe Ruth’s record. Way cool. I was at the ballpark when Bonds broke Babe Ruth’s record last year. Not as cool though, not at all.

5. I am the first woman in my family to earn a college degree, and the first person in my family to earn an MA. Yes, it IS a big deal! Still.

6. In my very first presidential election, I voted Republican. Can you guess who I voted for?

7. Right after high school, I thought I wanted to join the Navy. Even went through the testing. They offered me OCS (Officer Candiate School). But I changed my mind. Can you imagine – Captain Bird? About 5 years later, I gave the Navy another shot and actually did enlist –even took the oath. But back then, women had to wait about 6 – 9 months before they could ship out and it wasn’t unusual for life to take a turn and the woman would not longer want to ship out. The Navy then let’s you off the hook easy as pie. Which is what happened to me. But if I had gone through with it then, I was slated to go to air traffic control school. I wonder who I would be now if I’d actually joined the Navy long ago.

8. When I was a very little girl, I thought angels sang at Mass. I had a crisis of faith (and this before my First Communion) when I learned it was not angels, but nuns, singing.

And who to tag? Apparently I’ve got to tag 8 random bloggers. Hah!

Mrs. B - who I hope is having a fabulous summer.

Kate - finally visited her blog and found it fascinating – but I just hovered – will have to go back and comment soon.

Infini – one good tag deserves another.

Mara - cause I loved her Botox Pelosi comment at Bogs’.

Polly – ‘cause I dig her picture.

Firebird - in hopes she’ll do her list in poem form.

Thursday Next (aka Miss Jane) - who writes quite beautifully and thus must have some beautiful random facts.

The Redheaded Woodpecker – but only when that pile of papers to grade is finished.

I’d tag Aunty B and t/. (or is /t.? - uh-oh, I'm losing it!), but I think Boneman already did.

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

The Hilary Post

(For She and Aunty Belle)

Why I Used to Like Hilary:

She was a smart woman who didn’t hide her brains.

She was/is an equal partner with her husband.

Hilary changed the image of the First Lady. The press and the right complained, but she clearly was an integral part of her husband’s campaign and presidency, involved in the strategy and policy-making sessions. She was no bedroom or kitchen cabinet – voters knew up front before they put
Clinton in office that Hilary was part of the deal. She was not going to redecorate the White House, or only gather blankets and food for the poor and displaced. She would be active and involved in policy and decisions, and in making the President’s political and social policies a reality.

She was tenacious and fought for what she thought was best (healthcare). And she learned from that endeavor. Say what you will – the effort was not successful – but at least she tried.

Like her husband, she understood that issues are complicated, often nuanced, and never cut-and-dried, black or white. And she was capable of reflecting that complexity and nuance to the pubic on public issues – yet still express the issues in a clear, forthright manner.

She was a direct, strong woman, operating in a man's world and never giving an inch. The woman had guts and she appeared fearless.

She stood by her man – with no small amount of grace and integrity, and worked out their problems privately. Some claimed she stayed only because of ambition, but I refused then, and refuse now, to judge from the outside the very complicated elements of a marriage.

A strong woman and mother, she protected her daughter from the press.

She did what she had to do to change her image during
Clinton’s first presidential campaign, but without muting her strong personality and intelligence (and besides, ditching the headband did indeed improve her looks – not that that should have mattered in the least).

She was pragmatic – she knew how to fight the good fight, yet cease when efforts would no longer net any kind of benefit, and indeed, would begin to cause harm (healthcare – once again).

Why I Can’t Stand Hilary Now:

She immediately, without thought, jumped on the dangerous nationalistic/jingoistic so-called patriotic bandwagon after 9/11. I’ll grant that her perspective, as a Senator from
New York, was different from my perspective as a Californian – nonetheless, she failed to use her considerable brain power and went straight to the manipulation of emotion, of fear.

She became a hawk.

She is corporate owned (though why I should hold that against her, I don’t know – they are ALL corporate owned).

Hilary has embraced her pragmatism to the point of pandering. Or rather, she became pragmatic not about fighting the good fight, but about furthering her own ambition and agenda. Now on the surface, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that – politicians do that all the time. But she joined the vast body of ambitious politicians who are not ambitious because they want to do something meaningful for their people, their country, but because they want to enhance their cache, their image, their pockets; and she joined too those who believe, even when striving to do what they think is good in their own minds, that the ends-justify the means. But it doesn’t. If you achieve a good by bankrupting your ethics, the good is demeaned, soured – because you have destroyed one good while pursuing another.

She backed the bill to ban flag burning (so much for liberality – and besides – that was the least important thing at the time).

She panders.

She equivocates.

She now consistently hedges her statements and hones her words so they are devoid of conviction.

She is wasting her goddess-given talents through equivocation and pandering.

Oh, did I mention that she panders and equivocates?

She cannot be trusted any further than I can spit (and I can’t spit very far at all).

Why I Might Hold My Nose and Vote for Her If I Must:

She is at least smart and can string sentences together without grammatical errors or poor word choice that impedes meaning or makes her look foolish and uneducated. She also doesn’t talk with food in her mouth.

Her husband will make a hell-of-a First Man and ambassador at large in the world. (Not to mention an excellent advisor – just keep him out of the West Wing and away from interns.)

She has a vagina and is no better no worse than most politicians with cojones.

I cannot vote for the Republican ticket unless someone who actually believes in and practices rational, reasonable debate, understands and respects science, demonstrates a clear understanding of separation of church and state, is committed to women’s rights, to civil liberty, and to protecting each citizen’s privacy, has a broad and educated understanding of the world at large, and is not a fucking-idiot or pretty boy, or both appears as if by magic, wins the nomination, and selects a running mate of similar qualities. What are the odds?

If Hilary wins the Democratic nomination, I will be stuck, as I have many times before, voting for the lesser of two evils. I comfort myself in thinking that if she makes it to the Presidency, at least she is a woman. We have to start somewhere – and why we should hold a woman politician to a higher standard than a man, is beyond me. And yet, I will not vote for her just because she is a woman. I will vote for her only if I am backed into a corner.

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