Super-Duper Tuesday

For the first time in my voting life, the dawn of an Election Day arrives and I am not yet sure for whom I will cast my ballot.

After 9/11, when Hilary Clinton cast her vote for the Iraq War, and later, when she backed an amendment that would restrict free speech (the whole burning-the-flag- thing), and when she began talking through her mouth from both sides, I told myself, sadly, I cannot vote for her if she runs. I will not vote for her if she runs.

I am not so sure now. She is smart, she is tough. As a policy wonk – she knows the big picture and the details. The economy may very well be better in her hands than anyone else’s. Despite her pandering, she won’t betray women on our right to choose. Social issues may not advance a great deal while she is in office, but they won’t slip any further either. And she is one tough cookie – though I believe she will use diplomacy (and she’s got one hell of an ambassador in her corner who is still much-beloved by the rest of the world, not to mention a sharp political operative and excellent advisor), I’d hate to get into a dog fight ... er ... cat fight with this broad.

And she is a woman. And how proud I would be to see a woman hold the highest office in the land. We could do far worse than Clinton, and perhaps not much better. And though I would not always agree with her policies or approaches, I would not be ashamed or embarrassed to call her President. I would, indeed, be proud. And what a message her ascendancy to the highest office in the land would send young women. I can hear the wonder and pride already in my daughter’s voice, see her tears Election Night in November. I can almost taste my own.

But before Obama announced his candidacy, I, like many others, had sent him an email: Run, Obama, run. I see in Obama a man of integrity and vision. A man capable of healing a divided country and bringing us together for a far more nobler purpose than shopping to shore up our economy. While Hilary Clinton will fight for me, Obama will too – but he will also ask me to fight as well. He will ask me to step up. I agree with his philosophy, his rhetoric. He will listen to those who say no to power, not ignore advice from all corners, before rendering his decisions.

And he is a black man. We could do far worse than Obama, and perhaps not much better. How proud I would be to see a black man hold the highest office in the land.. And though I would not always agree with his policies or approaches, I would not be ashamed or embarrassed to call him President. I would, indeed, be proud. And what a message his ascendancy to the highest office in our land would send to our country, to our youth, to African-Americans who thought they would never, ever, see such a day. I can hear the wonder and pride already, see the tears of joy. I can almost taste my own.

I would be content; I would be proud if either of these candidates made it to the White House.

So for whom do I vote?

The pragmatist in me drives me to strategy. Which one, Obama or Clinton, has the best chance to beat the Republicans? Does it really come down to this then – who is more electable?

The Hilary Post

(For She and Aunty Belle)

Why I Used to Like Hilary:

She was a smart woman who didn’t hide her brains.

She was/is an equal partner with her husband.

Hilary changed the image of the First Lady. The press and the right complained, but she clearly was an integral part of her husband’s campaign and presidency, involved in the strategy and policy-making sessions. She was no bedroom or kitchen cabinet – voters knew up front before they put Clinton in office that Hilary was part of the deal. She was not going to redecorate the White House, or only gather blankets and food for the poor and displaced. She would be active and involved in policy and decisions, and in making the President’s political and social policies a reality.

She was tenacious and fought for what she thought was best (healthcare). And she learned from that endeavor. Say what you will – the effort was not successful – but at least she tried.

Like her husband, she understood that issues are complicated, often nuanced, and never cut-and-dried, black or white. And she was capable of reflecting that complexity and nuance to the pubic on public issues – yet still express the issues in a clear, forthright manner.

She was a direct, strong woman, operating in a man's world and never giving an inch. The woman had guts and she appeared fearless.

She stood by her man – with no small amount of grace and integrity, and worked out their problems privately. Some claimed she stayed only because of ambition, but I refused then, and refuse now, to judge from the outside the very complicated elements of a marriage.

A strong woman and mother, she protected her daughter from the press.

She did what she had to do to change her image during Clinton’s first presidential campaign, but without muting her strong personality and intelligence (and besides, ditching the headband did indeed improve her looks – not that that should have mattered in the least).

She was pragmatic – she knew how to fight the good fight, yet cease when efforts would no longer net any kind of benefit, and indeed, would begin to cause harm (healthcare – once again).

Why I Can’t Stand Hilary Now:

She immediately, without thought, jumped on the dangerous nationalistic/jingoistic so-called patriotic bandwagon after 9/11. I’ll grant that her perspective, as a Senator from New York, was different from my perspective as a Californian – nonetheless, she failed to use her considerable brain power and went straight to the manipulation of emotion, of fear.

She became a hawk.

She is corporate owned (though why I should hold that against her, I don’t know – they are ALL corporate owned).

Hilary has embraced her pragmatism to the point of pandering. Or rather, she became pragmatic not about fighting the good fight, but about furthering her own ambition and agenda. Now on the surface, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that – politicians do that all the time. But she joined the vast body of ambitious politicians who are not ambitious because they want to do something meaningful for their people, their country, but because they want to enhance their cache, their image, their pockets; and she joined too those who believe, even when striving to do what they think is good in their own minds, that the ends-justify the means. But it doesn’t. If you achieve a good by bankrupting your ethics, the good is demeaned, soured – because you have destroyed one good while pursuing another.

She backed the bill to ban flag burning (so much for liberality – and besides – that was the least important thing at the time).

She panders.

She equivocates.

She now consistently hedges her statements and hones her words so they are devoid of conviction.

She is wasting her goddess-given talents through equivocation and pandering.

Oh, did I mention that she panders and equivocates?

She cannot be trusted any further than I can spit (and I can’t spit very far at all).

Why I Might Hold My Nose and Vote for Her If I Must:

She is at least smart and can string sentences together without grammatical errors or poor word choice that impedes meaning or makes her look foolish and uneducated. She also doesn’t talk with food in her mouth.

Her husband will make a hell-of-a First Man and ambassador at large in the world. (Not to mention an excellent advisor – just keep him out of the West Wing and away from interns.)

She has a vagina and is no better no worse than most politicians with cojones.

I cannot vote for the Republican ticket unless someone who actually believes in and practices rational, reasonable debate, understands and respects science, demonstrates a clear understanding of separation of church and state, is committed to women’s rights, to civil liberty, and to protecting each citizen’s privacy, has a broad and educated understanding of the world at large, and is not a fucking-idiot or pretty boy, or both appears as if by magic, wins the nomination, and selects a running mate of similar qualities. What are the odds?

If Hilary wins the Democratic nomination, I will be stuck, as I have many times before, voting for the lesser of two evils. I comfort myself in thinking that if she makes it to the Presidency, at least she is a woman. We have to start somewhere – and why we should hold a woman politician to a higher standard than a man, is beyond me. And yet, I will not vote for her just because she is a woman. I will vote for her only if I am backed into a corner.