I originally wrote what follows as a comment in response to comments on yesterday's post, but determined to post it as a regular blog entry. You all might want to check out yesterday's post on Nancy Pelosi
and the comments on family values and sexual politics that post provoked.
Jack - you are welcome to take up any amount of space here any time you like. And AB, even though I abhor your thinking and think you a homophobe, you have similar privileges – within reason. After all, I will brook no insult to those I love. As you know, the gloves come off when my family is attacked. And so, with this rant, I begin to take off the gloves. I prefer civility – so let’s hope I don’t get the gloves off completely and move to fisticuffs.From this point on, readers beware - the text may become graphic and sexually explicit.
AB: but your truth is not truth.
It is made up of falsifications and isolated facts strung together to create a case, without inclusion of the refuting facts. In short, you're full of bullshit on this topic. We've been down this road before, and frankly, the so-called facts and perspective you take (recently and in past discussions) remind me of the pseudo-science that was employed decades ago to prove that the black man was intellectually inferior and inherently immoral. Again I say, bullshit.
Let’s take a look at this word "sodomy." This word carries a weight of judgment and negative connotations – because of its biblical roots. Objections to sodomy and the case that its immoral, as well as the drive to keep it illegal in some states, and make it illegal in others, are rooted in religious belief - not in facts. Many people who object to homosexuality and claim sodomy is so horrible do so because of their religious beliefs. And they would like to force those beliefs on the rest of us. They would like to force this term, “sodomy” and all its religious baggage, on the rest of us.
Let’s use a different term: anal intercourse.
If you don't want that kind of sex, it shouldn't be forced upon you- and if it is - that's called RAPE – regardless of gender or sexual orientation. But anal intercourse is a sexual preference or predilection nothing more or less.
Whether a person is “wired” biologically to desire anal intercourse or just plain likes it is irrelevant. It is no more inherently immoral or wrong than coitus in the missionary position. And mind you, all forms of sex carry with them inherent medical risks. The risks of sexual activity can be mitigated. And honorable, caring people, regardless of what kind of sexual activity they engage in, take steps to mitigate those risks for each other. Yes, you can have your cake and eat it too.
Anal intercourse is not the only way for gay men to have sex (and by the way, male/female couples and female/female couples engage in anal sex as well). Some heterosexual women enjoy anal sex. Some don’t. I would imagine that some homosexual men enjoy it and some don’t. I bet some heterosexual men enjoy it too – - their female lovers may insert a finger into their anus whilst licking their balls or sucking their dicks, and a heterosexual man may like that quite a bit- and some may not. A heterosexual woman may like her male lover’s finger inserted in her anus whilst he is licking her clit. And perhaps dildoes come into play, or fruit. Or ...? Who knows? Who cares?).
Granted – a lot of anal sex can stretch that orifice. Too much coitus can be bad for you too. But I trust people to figure out how far they can take a good thing. Again, all sex comes with risks and honorable, caring people mitigate those risks for their partners.
Ingesting feces? That’s so ridiculous it's laughable. Yeah, there are some couples, both homo and hetero that lick each other's anuses - some people find that to be a turn on. No "dirtier" than cunnilingus and fellatio - if you're a clean person. Besides, what business is it of anyone’s where your tongue goes? Where my tongue goes? Do you want to follow me around in bed and see what I do? Or have me catalogue it here? I bet if I did, quite a few readers would get turned on – and I bet some of those would be folks who claim such sexual activity is unclean, or deviant, or immoral. And quite a few folk would think anything but the man on top with his dick in the woman’s cunt is unacceptable. Gosh, what an impoverished sex life that must be! But if that’s your thing – have at it.
But if you did follow me about, and you did disapprove of my sexual behavior – and you did find it to be deviant and immoral and nasty and distasteful – does that give you the right to prohibit loving, dedicated, committed gay and lesbian couples from uniting in matrimony? I think not. Prohibiting such unions seems so contrary to family values. Prohibiting such unions forces loving couples to live outside the law and in a precarious situation. Prevents loving couples from enjoying the rights and privileges other married couples enjoy –it’s blatant discrimination – and in no way supports family or marriage. It undermines those things. It makes married life and familial life more difficult.
The state grants civil unions to heterosexual couples all the time. I see no reason not to grant such unions to homosexual couples.
About divorce rates – Jack – I recall reading somewhere that the divorce rate is higher than 50%. Not sure though. But with regards to homosexual couples - maybe they would have a higher rate or a lesser, or the same. Who knows. I do know this – I know many same sex couples who have been together for decades. They are loving and committed couples. They are productive members of their communities, caring and strong members of their nuclear and extended families. And I suspect that because they have managed to maintain their union even though they receive less support from the community for their unions, they are stronger, better, more loving and dedicated folks than many of us. Their unions have survived and blossomed despite the odds stacked against them by both overt and covert homophobes, by both overt and covert homophobic governmental policies.
Those couples know the true meaning of FAMILY VALUES. They do indeed, as you say Jack, live well and serve not only each other fully,but the rest of us as well. They provide us with examples and role models of what it means to live your life true to your love, to hold fast to your truth, your love, your family, with dedication and care, despite the roadblocks and challenges bigots and homophobes and a hostile world throws at you.
So once again, I tip my hat to SAN FRANCISCO VALUES